Inconceivable!!

One of my favorite movies of all time is "The Princess Bride."  I watched it today again.  The movie if often mistaken for "The Princess Diaries" due to people's ignorance.  I implore everyone to watch this movie.  It is one of the most cleverly hilarious movies I have ever seen.  The movie to me is Brooksian, meaning it reminds me of something that Mel Brooks would create.  Cary 

Elwess, the main character Westley, is even in the Brooks movie "Robinhood Men in Tights."  

The story is a fairy tale told by a grandfather to his grandson, Fred Savage, while his grandson is home sick.  

The story takes place a long time ago, about the same times all fairy tales occur.  Westley is a stable boy who works for Princess Buttercups family.  They were both in love with the other although they didn't tell each other.  Whenever Buttercup asked him anything he only replied, "As you wish."  Westley left, and was believed to be dead at sea.  However, he had been taken captive by the Dread Pirate Roberts, and eventually takes the Dread Pirate's role after the former's retirement.  

Buttercup is captured by a Giant, Andre the Giant, a Spaniard named Inigo Montoya and a Sicilian who was the leader.  They had been paid by Prince Hupperdink in order to start a war.  

Westley catches up to the three and bests the giant in a battle of strength, the Spaniard in a battle of sword play and the Sicilian in a battle of wits.  During the sword fight they both fight with their left hands.  Inigo says, "I have to tell you, I'm not left handed," and Westley responds, "I have something to tell you, neither am I." This is the kind of clever oneliners that this movie is riddled with.  

After besting the Sicilian Westley is captured in order to protect Buttercup.  After he is tortured and put to dead Inigo and the Giant come to get Westley.  They take him to Miracle Max, Billy Crystal, who says that "he is only Mostly dead," then brings him back to life.

The trio then leaves Miracle Max with Max replying, "Have fun storming the castle," in his Jewish accent even though he is a troll.  

The trio makes it to the castle and Inigo gets revenge that he had been seeking throughout the movie.  A six fingered man had killed his father.  When he gets to Count Rugen, one of Humperdink's henchmen, he sees six fingers.  He says to him, "My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father. Prepare to die." Even though he is wounded and gets another wound, Inigo continues to attack repeating this phrase over and over, willing himself to continue; eventually getting his revenge.

In the end Westley saves Buttercup and they end up together.  Happily ever after.

My summary does not give this movie justice.  The movie is phenomenal and I consider it to be one of the best comedies of all time.  

The Devil's Rejects

I'm not normally a fan of horror movies, but I watched this with a friend who rented it the other day, and I really enjoyed it.  It was very gory, which I'm not particularly fond of, but the gore was created somewhat creatively so I can at least accept that.  

"The Devil's Rejects" is a Rob Zombie movie about a family that has physically and sexually tortured individuals for decades.  The torture, I'm told, is much more prevalent in the first movie, "House of a Thousand Corpses."  The first movie is much more about showing the family's history of torture while "The Devil's Rejects" shows the family on the run.  They go by aliases, all from Marx Brothers movies.  

The movie shows two groups, the family on the run, and the police chasing them.  The chief police officer shows signs of going crazy as well.  He continually sees hallucinations of his brother, another police officer, who had been tortured and killed by the family.  

The movie starts with a raid on their house which is followed by a fire fight between police officers and the family.  The mother, Mother firefly, was arrested by police.  She was eventually killed by the sheriff in an act of revenge.  

Baby firefly, Zombie's wife, and her brother Otis Driftwood run after the fire fight and end up at a hotel where they continue to torture the individuals whose rooms they stole. As they run from the fight Zombie has The Allman Brothers' "Midnight Rider" playing.  The eventually meet up with their father, Captain Spalding and head to his "brother's" place, a brothel.  

The sheriff had hired two thugs, one of which is The Diamond Dallas Page, to find the Spalding clan.  The two bounty hunters trap the family and the sheriff with their help take the Spaldings back to their own home.  He ties them up and begins stapling pictures of their deceased victims to there stomachs.  All the while, the house is in flames.

The sheriff is eventually killed and the trio get away.

The ending of the movie was my favorite scene.  The three Spaldings left, shot up and bleeding, encounter a roadblock of police officers.  They get their guns ready and full charge at the police as Zombie has "Freebird" by Lynyrd Skynyrd playing.  They are killed by police for the conclusion.

I really like what Zombie does with music.  He has a keen ability to put great songs exactly where they should go.  He does a great job of using songs that fit the mood and scene perfectly, and if they do not fit the scene, they are so opposite that they fit to show the Spalding clan's insanity. 

Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes it rains.

Yesterday, I watched Bull Durham.  It stars Kevin Costner, Crach Davis, a beat up old minor league catcher who was brought in to help coach Nuke LaLoosh, Tim Robbins. Nuke is a young pitching prospect in the minor leagues to gain control.  Davis, a veteran, and student of the game gives Nuke advice throughout the movie that deals with the mental aspect of the game.  The two start as enemies, almost fighting more than once, but eventually grow to be friends.

Early in the movie Nuke has so much trouble with his control that he hits the Bull, the Durham team mascot.  Crash later has him hit the bull in order to scare a batter, saying "I don't know where its gonna go." 

Nuke and Crash, who we find out is approaching the minor league home run record, both get interested in the same woman, Susan Sarandon, Annie.  Early on, Nuke wins her but begins to fall away from her when he decides that not having sex is the reason he is pitching so well.  Crash insists he respect the streak. 

One of my favorite points in the movie is when Nuke shakes Crash off, meaning Nuke wants to call his own pitches.  Crash thinks this is arrogant as he has been calling pitches all game and allows Nuke to throw the pitch he wants.  However, Crash tells the opposing batter that Nuke is shaking him off and tells the player the pitch then says, "When you speak of me, speak well." The player hits a home run.  

This movie has a great deal of speeches, usually from Crash towards Nuke, that explain the finer points of baseball.  Crash's job is to get Nuke ready for the majors which include teaching him about all aspects of the game, including dealing with reporters.  Most of the speeches deal with the philosophical points of the game.  Annie later says to Crash, "You do make speeches," after he explains his view on love and sex.  

Eventually Nuke is called up to the pros and Crash is released the same time.  Crash goes to a bar and gets drunk.  Nuke comes to the bar to celebrate and the two start arguing.  Crash is jealous.  Here he teaches Nuke his last lesson. "Never hit a drunk with your pitching hand." 

After Nuke is gone, Crash goes to Annie's house and they get together.  

I really enjoyed this movie.  I like a movie with good quotes and this one is chock full of them between Crash, Annie and Nuke.  It really shows the minor leagues in a somewhat realistic way.  They showed the guys who never will make it to the majors except to have a cup of coffee, and their relationship to the boys who come in with a sure ride to the pros.  The movie shows Crash's superior knowledge and jealousy and Nuke's naivete and arrogance contrasted with their friendship.  

Reservoir Dogs

Today I watched Reservoir Dogs, a movie written and directed by Quentin Tarantino. The movie, about a heist gone wrong, is told out of chronological order, a common Tarantino trait.  It includes a host of actors including Harvey Keitel, Steve Buscemi, Tim Roth and Michael Madsen.  

The members of the robbery team, put together by organized crime boss Joe Cabot, goes only by Mr. and a color given to them by Joe.

The movie starts out with the group eating breakfast and Mr. Pink goes off about how he doesn't believe in tipping because he is expected to.  The scene is typical in a Tarantino film as he always includes real conversation.  

Tarantino uses the radio station featuring 'Super Sounds of the 70's' as the background music for the movie.  The characters listen to the station throughout the film.  A particularly intriguing scene involves Madsen, Mr. Blonde, torturing a police officer while dancing to Stealer's Wheel song 'Stuck in the Middle With You.'  The contrast between the upbeat song and the cruel scene showed Mr. Blondes inner evil and insanity.  Blonde was responsible for the botched job, as he began killing innocent civilians during the robbery.

However, it is revealed by Mr. Pink, Buscemi, that the cops seems to be ready for them upon their departure from the jewelry store.

Eventually, Mr. Orange, Roth, is shown to be a cop who had been undercover.  Mr. Orange had been wounded in fire fight with police that resulted after their departure form the store.  The group had been scattered and met up at an abandoned warehouse that had been agreed upon beforehand.  Most of the movie takes place here and the other parts are told like flashbacks. The movie is intense, gory and brutal.  You see criminals at their worst, such as Mr. Pink pulling a woman out of her car by her hair, or Mr. Blonde torturing people.  However, we also see Mr. White show great compassion towards Mr. Orange on his deathbed.  He genuinely cared about Mr. Orange as he felt responsible for Mr. Orange's wounds.  He wants to risk his own health and freedom to take Orange to the hospital but is talked out of it by Mr. Pink.

The only member whose whereabouts are unknown is Mr. Pink.  He repeatedly says that he is "a professional" and if he made it out that is what saved him.  He operated as it was a job and didn't let things get personal.  It can be assumed that he was arrested as police sirens closed in as he was the only one left in the end.  However, it is believed by many that his character, Buddy Holly waiting tables, in Pulp Fiction is Mr. Pink hiding out.  

He rode a blazing saddle, he wore a shining star.

Yesterday I watched one of my favorite all-time movies, Blazing Saddles.  The movie was written and produced by Mel Brooks and it does not disappoint.  It came out in 1974, the same year as Brooks' Young Frankenstein, making that year, in my opinion, one of the greatest ever for comedy.

Blazing Saddles tells the tale of a black railroad worker, Bart who was sentenced to death for attacking one of his employers.  Instead, Hedy Lamar (That's Hedley!!! as he must often exclaim) a politician who wishes to expand the railroad through a small town of Rock Ridge spares him in order to make him the sheriff of Rock Ridge.  His plan is to drive the people of Rock Ridge out of town by implementing the black sheriff.  

The townspeople immediately reject him, threatening to kill him from the moment he gets into town.  Bart tricks them by holding himself hostage.  After he gets to the jail he meets up with Jim who is in the holding cell.  Bart befriends Jim, the Waco Kid a washed-up alcoholic gunslinger, and makes him the deputy.  

Bart continually outwits Hedley in his attempts to empty Rock Ridge and eventually wins the love and respect of the people.  

This movie is not for those who do not like racial or insensitive humor because it is full of it.  Anyone who has an even close to sensitive sense of humor might want to stay away from this movie as if it can definitely be taken offensively.  The n-word is used very regularly and stereotypes for several races are made fun of.  I on the other hand love this movie.  As it is a Mel Brooks movie it is clever and witty.  I rarely stop laughing throughout the whole movie. Brooks brilliantly intertwines ridiculous situations with quick, clever one-liners and references.  His racial and insensitive humor aims to make fun of those who are racist, making the villains those who make the racial comments, but could be misconstrued as outright insensitivity.  

Memorable quotes:

That's Hedley!! - Hedley Lamar

"What are your qualifications?" -Lamar

"Rape, arson, murder, rape." - criminal

"You said rape twice?" - Lamar

"I like rape." - criminal

I got it! I got it! - Taggart
You do? - Lamar

We'll work up a Number 6 on 'em. -Taggart
[frowns] "Number 6"? I'm afraid I'm not familiar with that one. -Lamar
Well, that's where we go a-ridin' into town, a-whompin' and a-whumpin' every livin' thing that moves within an inch of its life. Except the women folks, of course. - Taggart
You spare the women? -Lamar
Naw, we rape the shit out of them at the Number Six Dance later on. -Taggart
Marvelous! - Lamar

The surveyors say they may have run into some quicksand up ahead. Better check it out.  -Taggart
Okay, I'll send down a team of horses to check out the ground. -Lyle
 Horses? We can't afford to lose any horses, you dummy! Send over a couple of niggers. - Taggart

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

This past weekend I went to the movie theater for the first time in several months.  I have been looking forward to seeing X-Men Origins: Wolverine since I first heard that it was going to come out.  It did not disappoint.  The 2 hour movie felt like much less, leaving me satisfied as to how Wolverine came to be, but still wanting more.  

Spoiler Alter! I will be discussing details of the movie. Do not read on if you don't want any plot points ruined.  

I know that this movie may not be loved by X-Men comic readers as it does not go along with Marvel cannon.  However, I have never read the comic books so you can take my opinion on the movie worth a grain of salt.  I have only seen the previous X-Men movies, which I know don't follow cannon either and the cartoons when I was a kid.  

The movie began in the 1850s with Wolverine, a sickly James Howlett, and Sabertooth, Victor Creed, as children.  A dispute between their families escalated resulting in John Creed, Victor's father, killing James father.  After seeing his father slain James goes into a rage causing bone claws, which he uses to avenge his father, to come out of his hands   It is then revealed that John is James father. After the two murders Victor and James go on the run with the new knowledge that they are brothers.

The opening credits include them fighting in the Civil War, for the North, WWI, WWII and Vietnam.  From the beginning we get to see the two indestructible humans, which they owe to their mutant healing powers, plowing through America's enemies.  Again, comic book fans probably wouldn't like this as it does not go along with cannon, but I gained a newfound respect for Wolverine and even Sabertooth seeing them fight for the good old U.S. of A. 

They go on to be imprisoned after Sabertooth commits a war crime and Wolverine defends him.  They are then recruited by a special branch of military by Stryker.  He uses the team to commit crimes against mutants and other civilians.  Wolverine leaves after Stryker orders the team to kill innocent civilians.  This starts a feud between Wolverine and Sabertooth as well as with Stryker. 

After Wolverine gained his ademantium (unbreakable metal) skeleton, which he was only able to accept because of his outstanding healing ability, he used them like a new toy.  He cut up everything, and everybody with his new indestructible claws.  

The movie overall was exciting.  There was a great balance between back story and fighting.  

I got to see a lot of mutants I had never seen before, including Deadpool whose mutant abilities allow him to cut bullets in half with twin swords, sending the bullet fragments to kill guards.  

I would have liked to see more mutant powers, but this is an understandable flaw since the movie focuses on Wolverine.  I particularly would have liked to see more of Gambit, who has the ability to charge matter with electricity.  I did get to see a variety of mutant abilities which made up for the lack in quantity of any one power besides a few individual mutants. 

A major plus of the Wolverine Origin is that I got to see Sabertooth's origin as well because the two characters have always been closely linked, fighting each other for decades.